I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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