So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
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Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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