I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize