I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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