What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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