im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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