Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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