Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize