In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize