He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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