then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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