Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize