Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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