I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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