The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
birth control should be required to get into college
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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