why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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