Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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