You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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