I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
please don't ironically join a cult
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