I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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