she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You ate ashes out of my bong
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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