It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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