The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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