arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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