u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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