You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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