you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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