I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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