I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize