Someone shit on the floor
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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