This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize