So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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