how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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