I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize