look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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