It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I will pee on everything he values.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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