Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize