Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize