If i come over, it means nothing
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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