Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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