He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
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He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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