OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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