Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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