remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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