I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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