I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize