your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize