How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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