i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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