shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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